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-====== The Inner Life 1933 ======
+====== The Inner Life ======
-Husbands 2
+== THE HERALD OF THE NEW AGE | DECEMBER 1936 ==
+----
+<WRAP justify>
+not true; but I was jealous and suspicious and told him he was just the same, and so many times that he probably thought, “Why not?”
+Then I determined not to blame him any more. That was not easy either. I received and studied the Lesson Papers, and I went as far as I could understand in The Impersonal Life. Then I went back to the beginning and re-studied it, over and over again. Each time I would get more from it.
+For me, having thus set my feet upon the Path, there was no turning back. But if before I thought I was living in hell, I knew now I had turned all hell loose upon myself. But I would not give up. I did not give up. My husband drank more—he stayed away more. There was a little one coming, and he’d beat me. But I had learned by then that it was my fault—I had thought those things, and now they were just outmanifesting—I wondered how long it would be before the good I was now trying to think would start manifesting.
+Then I learned that God was manifesting in him—was through him teaching me things. And one time as he was striking me, I said (and meant it), “Father, if this is the way You wish to manifest through him, it’s all right with me.” I never felt a blow.
+I had overcome a great deal, but I had not entirely overcome crabbing and jealousy. Well, I did away with those—got me a beating. And how glad I am now that it did.
+Constantly I prayed that the baby would bring the Truth. I gave it entirely to the Father. Friends thought the abuse I received that it would be a cripple, or at least one full of hate. But never for a moment did hate enter my heart all that time.
+Well, baby brought a change—but not a complete cure for my husband. I had had five years of hell, and I determined I would not stand more. But I did. Then one night while wondering how long it was to last, I turned again to “Soul Mates,” paragraph five, page 94, and page 96, paragraph 1.
+So he was an angel! How? When? . . . Then I saw it all. I had been a veritable hell-cat to my other husbands and to my children, and because of that I had no friends. I had divorced
+</WRAP>
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