consciousness and in that superior feeling I just cannot separate myself into two, for I then feel that God and I are One.

Also as a result of my not worrying or condescending to other people, they seemed to respect me more; I have received nice letters; invitations to visit; had friends, who had not called in a long time, come to me of their own accord—and a lot of other blessings followed.

Now repeatedly it is emphasized in The Impersonal Life that we must surrender ourselves wholly to God within; and there again I become confused. I then begin making a separation, thereby just waiting for something to take charge of me, and in a way denying what intelligence I have; and as a result I do not accomplish anything.

This really makes me more or less hazy or lazy, and I do not seem nearly as much alive and alert as when I make an effort to know that I in my outer self am God, and thereby in some way seem to “lift up” the little self and to take on power that enables me to know that I AM the only One, and that One is God.

Now when this “within” God confuses me, is it not because I wait for the external God of me to speak; for to me this deep “withinness” and “I” are so closely related that they seem One, except when I feel that I am just the little self.

Well, it is just something one knows but finds it hard to explain. Also in The Impersonal Life the “I AM” who speaks says there is nothing but His Will in action. Then in another place it says we cannot attain the kingdom by will-power. It seems to me my will is God’s will-power in action, for I could have no power were it not for Him. The Impersonal Life says the Kingdom is not for those who are mentally lazy. Is not our will and determination God’s power in action?

Now I want you to be perfectly frank with me. Do you think I am trying to “puff up” my personality or individuality as it were? Or do you think that in my determination to know that “I AM,” I am given all power and dominion, and can utilize this “waiting consciousness” to create or manifest Love, Wisdom, Peace, Harmony and all that is “God”?