Then my attention was called to another dear soul, who seemed to be in such torment that he was striking himself and pulling his hair in anguish. I tried to tell him that God is merciful and that he should be glad he was still alive. But he cried pitifully, “What is the use of living, now that I am weighed in the balance and found wanting? I am a minister of the gospel, but, oh, how did I minister to my flock? I was supposed to be their shepherd. I was told to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, to open the eyes of the blind, to heal the sick, to raise the dead, and lo! all I did was to preach.

I did not look after the widows and the fatherless, and when the members of my flock came to me for healing, I had no faith in the healing power of God, through Jesus Christ, so I sent them to physicians and surgeons instead of administering to them myself; now I realize that it was through lack of faith that the healings should have been accomplished. So hospitals had to be built and asylums had to be filled and penitentiaries had to be provided for all those who had lost their way through our failure to be true shepherds to our sheep. Oh, if I had only understood and realized what I know now, how differently I would have lived. But now it is too late, too late! I have betrayed my Lord.”

I tried to comfort this poor soul, to assure him that it was never too late, that God, in His infinite love, would forgive to the uttermost, but his remorse was so great that no words of mine could have any effect. Therefore, I had to leave him in the loving care of the Father and turn my attention to another soul—a woman who was crying as though her heart would break. It seemed that this woman had hardened her heart to the sacred duty of caring for her sister’s son. He had been left an orphan with a very frail body, but had had a great desire and ambition for an education, the might become a minister of the gospel. She was very rich, but had refused to help him, so he had to work his way through college and he worked beyond his strength, and so was taken ill and passed to his heavenly home. Now she realized that she was the cause of his death, because she had hoarded her wealth, instead of using it for the glory of God in helping one of His little ones. Now her wealth was gone and there was nothing left but the memory that great wrong, and she felt as if she had committed the unpardonable sin. And she, too, could not be comforted.

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