The Impersonal Life

by Joseph Sieber Benner

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The Inner Life

THE HERALD OF THE NEW AGE | MAY 1935

we never knew; but each time it faced the agony of reincarnation and took up its burden with renewed courage and knowledge.

The dim, newly-awakened mind understood Howson through and through; each twist and turn of him, conscious and sub-conscious, she could follow; and of course she was the most perfect nurse he could have had. The panic-stricken mind was never allowed to thrash about in outer darkness and the horror of death. Instinctively she sensed the approach of nightmare forms, and, putting out her hand, pulled the wandering soul back into safety.

This protected from the wear and tear of his terrible storms, Howson’s mind began to heal. Day by day the time drew nearer when he would be fit to leave the nursing home and marry the woman he was engaged to, and day by day, her instinctive skill and watchful care, Mona Cailey quickened the approach of that time.

I have said that he would leave and marry the woman he was engaged to—not the woman he loved, for at that time had Mona Cailey chosen to lift one finger she could have brought the old memories into consciousness and drawn Howson to herself; and that she was fully aware of this, I who watched her, am convinced. An ignorant woman could not have steered round the pitfalls as skilfully as she did.

The night before he was to leave she had a bad relapse into her old condition. Hour after hour Dr. Taverner and I sat beside her while she scarcely seemed to breathe, so completely was the soul withdrawn from the body.

“She is shut up in her own subconsciousness, moving among the memories of the past,” Dr. Taverner whispered to me, as slight twitchings ran through the motionless form on the bed.

Then a change took place.

“Ah,” said Dr. Taverner, “she is out now!”

Slowly the long white hand was raised—the hand that I had watched change from a limp thing of disgust to firmness and strength, and a sequence of knocks was given upon the wall at the bedside that would have skinned the knuckles of an ordinary hand.


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