The Impersonal Life

by Joseph Sieber Benner

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The Inner Life

THE HERALD OF THE NEW AGE | JULY & AUGUST 1938

THE WEALTHIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD

By August Hashagen

I HAD not seen her for several months and I almost dreaded to meet her, for when I was in her store the last time she was so utterly dejected that the thought of her did not leave me for days after.

And here she was on the avenue, Fifth Avenue, walking with sprightly steps, smiling, radiant with joy. I had never considered her even good-looking, but here she was—beautiful, an inner glow of supreme happiness shining out of her eyes. It seemed a miracle.

She greeted me, holding out both gloved hands. Taking my arm under hers, she cried, “I am so glad to meet you! Come, we’ll take a cup of coffee at Schrafft’s, for I want to tell you good news, that you will want to hear!”

When we were seated she looked at me very earnestly for a while before she spoke, and then she began quietly, “You always found an encouraging word for me when I was so terribly worried, almost sick with the fear of impending disaster, and that is why I want to tell you of the miracle which has come to me. I have not dared speak of it to anyone,” a wistful smile on her lips, “because they would not understand, and then . . . oh, well, you know!”

“After I saw you last, things were going from bad to worse with me. You know that my little gift-shop received what everyone thought was the final blow when the ‘five and ten’ opened a new store a few doors from me. What trade I had left, went rapidly to them.

“The landlord had been lenient, but the wholesale house from which I bought most of my goods sent me a letter that they would take court action unless I paid my account by the fifteenth of the month. It meant the end!

“It was late the night before the fateful fifteenth. I was alone in the store, for customers there had been none. I was sitting at my desk in the rear, heart-broken, sick in my soul. My savings were gone. My future looked as dark as it possibly could. Who would employ a woman of my age when so many young girls were anxious to get a position?

“The door opened and a stranger walked in. He was an elderly man with gray hair, quietly dressed and quiet in manner. After looking around for a while, he made a purchase and while I was wrapping the little vase he had selected, I felt his eyes upon me. I am afraid that the thought of the coming morning made my hands tremble, and he saw it.

“When I held out the package he took it slowly, while his quiet, searching glance seemed to probe my inmost.

“Then he said, ‘Child,’—she interrupted herself with a delighted little laugh. ‘Fancy anyone calling me, a mature woman of thirty, Child, I am going to say something to you which I rarely say to anyone. Most of us unfortunately do not understand, and then it hurts so much to have spoken.’

“The man’s quiet, gentle voice seemed to strike a chord within me, and a strange feeling of new hope began to steal over me.

“He went on, ‘You need not tell me that you are worried, for I know it, and I want to show you the way out of your trials. It is a sure way and it rests solely with you whether you want to take it or not.

“‘I have seen much of life and much sorrow has been mine. There was a time when something precious within me seemed to have died. I was fearing, fearing, always fearing! And always wretched! Just as you are now.

“‘Today I bless these trials, for they made me find the friend who has been at my side every hour of my life since then. That friend is God, Child! And I want you to look upon Him as your trust friend, talk to Him as you would to your friend, ask Him to guide and aid you as you would a human friend! He will not fail you! He has never failed me!’

“Then he went on to explain how misfortune often is the greatest blessing of our life, for it makes the soul understand the suffering of others, and as he spoke I learned to understand and an unknown warmth began to come over me. My heart went out to a suffering world, and with this my own trouble was forgotten. I knew what had been wanting in me; I had been thinking too much of myself, forgetting my fellowman, and without realizing it, I was becoming self-centered and selfish.

“Soon after this the stranger left. When we shook hands I felt that we should never meet again. I do not know who he is. He did not tell me and I did not ask. Ships that pass in the night!

“It seemed strange how everything had suddenly changed. It seems strange even now as I think of it. With steady hand I opened the drawer of my desk and calmly and with quiet confidence I took out my old Comforter, my black-covered, well-thumbed Bible. I turned over its pages at random, but a thought to my new-found Friend went out with it! I knew, I should find guidance here!

“I read, ‘Take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do you premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye.’

“I went home and to bed soon after this, dismissing from my mind everything that I had anxiously thought out to say to the wholesaler on my visit to them in the morning. I slept peacefully.

“And when I found myself the next morning in the sumptuously appointed office of the great George K., the star of the trade, I was equally calm. The long and carefully prepared plea for leniency was put aside. In fact, I should not have had the opportunity to present it, for George K. opened the attack himself by saying brusquely, ‘I know, of course, why you have come. We have gone over your account some time ago. It is long overdue and we have to protect ourselves!’

“I did not cry. To my own surprise I found myself replying, quietly, ‘I understand your position very well and know how you feel about it. It’s quite all right.’

“He looked at me in astonishment, for he had expected something else. His stern features relaxed a little, and he said in a more friendly tone, ‘I am sorry, but, as I said, I have to protect myself. Things have not been going so well lately.’

“As he was saying this a worried look came into his eyes and he stared absently out of the window. I looked at him in amazement, and then, something came to me which has never left me since that day. I saw clearly what was going on in the soul of this iron-jawed, strong man—he was just what I had been, a frightened little child that is afraid of the dark.

“I almost had to smile as I thought what all this great business really meant. Endless worry to the one who had built it up, and how long would he be able to enjoy what he considered his greatest possession? A few more short years and George K. would be forgotten.

“The recollection of my own terrible fear which had obsessed me rushed in upon me and my heart went out to this man before me. I found myself saying, ‘Don’t worry too much, please! The future often looks darker to us than it is in reality!’

“He did not resent this and replied, not by any means convinced, ‘I hope so!’

“There was something in his voice which made me go on. The words seemed to come to me and it was as if I myself had little to do with it. I told him, in my own way, what the stranger had said to me the night before, and my heart was in it. I knew that I had never spoken like this before. I was passing on a message.

“I looked at the heavy-set man before me, as he was leaning toward me over his desk. The mask of force and power had fallen from his face. Amazement had given place to deep interest. His eyes seemed to be hanging on my lips.

“When I stopped he took my hand and shook it warmly. ‘I needed that!’ he said, quietly.

“I rose and started for the door, but he called me back. ‘You have given me something very fine, young woman, and I want to give you a bit of good advice in return. I know that the ‘five and ten’ has hurt your business. Now, what you need is a line of goods better than theirs, things which are exclusive. That will bring back your trade!’

“I had to laugh. ‘Thank you, sir! But I have neither money nor credit.’

“He smiled grimly, ‘I know you have no money, but you have all the credit you want!’

“He pushed a button and Johnston, the salesman who had always waited on me, came in.

“‘Johnston, let this young woman select as much as she wants. I’ll okay the bill myself.’ And as an afterthought George K. added with a wry smile, ‘And I dont believe you will have to advise her what to buy. She has a friend with her who will help out!’

“Before I bought my goods, I hurried into a secluded corner of the store and had a good cry, which blotted out the last bit of bitterness that may have been left in my heart.

“This was only the beginning. Things came my way right along now. There was no difficulty which I could not readily meet. In fact, there were no difficulties. Today my rent is paid up in full. My wholesale bills are all met. Nothing is due.

“The great wish of my life has been fulfilled. I could take my old aunt, a dear old lady, into my home. She is happy with me. I have just bought her a fine radio set. I take her to the movies, once in a while to the theater. When spring comes I shall buy a little car, and on Sundays we will then go out into God’s great garden in the hills. I have all I possibly could ask for!

“My customers have all come back. New ones have come with them. Often they come in only to chat a bit and I am glad to have them.

“One little lady who always was near to me said, one day, ‘Your things in the store are beautiful, dear, but there is something else here which draws me and which I don’t quite understand! It’s here and I feel it, and yet I don’t see it!’

“Maybe, some day I will tell her of my wonderful Friend! I am the Wealthiest Woman in the World!”







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